


Against All Odds

by davidsenzi



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Angst, Datteo, Davenzi, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2020-02-26 17:19:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18721519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/davidsenzi/pseuds/davidsenzi
Summary: Matteo knows it’s wrong when he can’t take his eyes off David’s lips. He knows it’s wrong. They’ve been best friends for nearly three years. He wasn’t supposed to look at his best friend’s lips like that. And then...it’s like David asks him to when he desperately asks him to fake date him. Was this a challenge?





	1. Make Me Feel Something

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoy, if you do let me know down below :)) Also idk what the format did to the punctuation lol

Matteo knew the day he first laid eyes on David that  _ he felt something . He knew their first time talking that  _ he shared that something _ . He knew the first hang out that  _ he shouldn’t feel that something _ . And after three years of friendship,  _ he knows that something he feels is wrong _ . _

__

And today, he knows  _ he couldn’t ignore that something _ . He tries to think about anything, but that  _ something. _ Ironically, his mind only drifts to the order these events took place.

 

_ He felt something _

_ He shared that something _

_ He shouldn’t feel that something _

_ He knows that something he feels is wrong _

_ He couldn’t ignore that something _

 

His conclusions were well thought out, he thinks. Actually, he usually doesn’t think about things like this so really putting any thought into it all might as well be well thought out.

 

_ He felt something _

He’s pretty sure time stops when he passes David in that hallway. His heart races like never before when he, for some unknown reason, decides to walk without his eyes being downcast for once. Not only that, he feels things he never had for any girl his friends tried to set him up with. He feels a sweet pang in his chest as his eyes search David’s beautiful face.

 

_ He shared that something _

When he learns his name... _ David _ ...oh god, he feels like he could just feel high repeating it to himself over and over and over and over, again. He thinks he could drown in David’s words. His voice was so breathtaking. And when he knowingly flirts with David, it just feels like out of this world.  _ What would be your wish, though? _ He had asked. 

 

_ He shouldn’t feel that something _

When David jokes, he knows he’s laughing too hard. And when David teases him, he knows he’s blushing too hard. And when David really does anything, he knows whatever he’s doing shouldn’t be happening. Especially not with all the curiosity Matteo’s feeling. And when David isn’t there when Matteo comes out of the bathroom, he confirms he shouldn’t be doing what he’s doing.

 

_ He knows that something he feels is wrong _

After countless hangouts Matteo determines he cannot endorse his own behavior. He thinks David would have returned the  _ something _ by now if he was really interested, as they’ve already come out to each other. It’s been years and Matteo is convinced it’s all died down. He’s mad at himself because he doesn’t want to feel bad while looking at David’s lips, but he does. He doesn’t think it’s respectful seeing that David doesn’t really show any emotion about that stuff anymore. 

 

_ He couldn’t ignore that something _

Today, David walks up to him at lunch and drags him away from his friends...to be alone with him. It’s not that it was entirely unusual of him to do so, but by this point David was already really close with the guys. And with flushed cheeks, David asks him a question that brings out nearly every single butterfly he had been fighting to keep down, it makes Matteo feels nauseous. 

It was as if his life was circling, all the butterflies were ferociously uproaring in his stomach and he didn’t have the strength to push them all back down, again.

“What?” He asks, in a daze.  _ Say it again. Say it again.  _

“Uh, I’m sorry?” David repeats, nervous eyes searching his. 

They both look back to the guy squad from the doorway of the cafeteria. They all seemed to be fairly distracted, except for Jonas who seemed to be observing from afar. Matteo didn’t like it. Jonas had been giving them those looks for a while and he didn’t know what the hell to do about it. 

“No, the other part…”  _ Dumbass _ , he wants to add, but he’s finding himself hard of speech and doesn’t want to joke because he can’t exactly depict the tone leaving David’s mouth.

“That I need you to fake date me -” 

“-Why?” He interrupts. Why him of all people?

“Sara and Leonie wouldn’t shut up about their party this weekend and I don’t know, I just blurted it out really fast and-”

“-Blurted what out?” He asks, thinking he’s not completely comprehensive of what’s being said. 

“-That I would bring you...as a date. They kept talking about going with someone and I know it was because Leonie wanted me to ask if I could join her, but I couldn’t and-”

“-And so you said…” Matteo prompts him.

 

He wants to know the exact words that left David’s lips. He wants to know the exact feeling he felt saying it. He wants to know the exact reaction of the girls. He wants to know the exact reason why he could so easily think of him. He wants to know exactly what the hell was going on. 

 

“I - I don’t know, like I said, I panicked!” He says, waving his hands in the air.

“And somehow you thought of me? Me?” Matteo asks, not sure how blunt he’s being about well...everything. God, for as reserved as he was, he sure seemed to be interrupting David a whole lot.

“...Yeah,” David hesitantly admits. 

Of course he had to say it like that. Like the thought so naturally and quickly came to him. How fucking dare him. 

“I mean if you really hate the idea so much I can just tell them we broke up or something -”

“-No.” Matteo didn’t expect himself to say anything, but here he was...unable to ignore that  _ something _ . “It’s fine.”

“You sound mad,” David notes. 

Well, he wasn’t exactly pleased. After years of just tiptoeing over all the  _ who do you like  _ and  _ is it possible you feel the same way _ , he wasn’t excited. David didn’t like him and yet he was asking him to do something that felt morally wrong and because Matteo is his best friend, he would feel even more wrong for saying no. 

“I’m not mad,” Matteo sighs. “You’re literally deadpanning, don’t tell me you’re not mad,” David argues and Matteo feels like his head could just explode by how David could read him. “I’m not mad,” He says again with a blank expression.

“Okay...maybe a little,” Matteo admits, looking up to him. And it’s as if the universe’s odds are all against him because his breathing hitches when his eyes meet David’s. 

The look David’s giving him. Eyes widened, but soft. Lips slightly pursed. A look of concentration and worriedness that just...made it  _ impossible for him not to feel something _ and instantly forgive him.

“I’m sorry,” He says while brushing a hand through his hair. He needs to stop doing that because it’s only making Matteo wonder more and more what it’s like to do that. To so effortlessly throw a hand through his dark, wavy hair. 

“I know it was stupid of me to say, but I didn’t know what else to say. If I had said a girl, Leonie would try to compete with them.” 

“So you’re not pan anymore, just gay?” Matteo asks, joking...he was being sarcastic. 

“No, I just...okay, yeah, that was shitty of me.”

“I mean, they’re going to be confused  if you get a girlfriend,” Matteo says, with an indescribable tone that made David knit his brows together. It was made up of... _ something _ .

And if Matteo would have blinked, he thinks he would have missed it. But he sees David’s eyes trail down to his lips, in a flash, before stuttering, “I...yeah, the would be.” 

What was he stopping himself from saying? Matteo feels his cheeks burning. He sees David lick his lips. It’s all too much and he wants to leave. Looking back to the table, he sees all his friends looking now. 

“Are you coming to eat, or what?” He asks David, hoping he’ll say yes and they can just forget about everything that just happened. 

The two walk back to the table with three pairs of eyes glued on them. Could they stop? “What?” Matteo asks, almost harshly, all the boys shrugging and muttering  _ nothing  _ under their breath.

 

But it was never  _ nothing _ . It was always  _ something _ . 

 

“I mean...actually…” Jonas starts, hands scratching at the back of his neck. Matteo could sense his stalling.

Matteo slumps down to one of the table sides and David sits next to him. Matteo shakes his head, urging Jonas to speak.

“We actually heard a rumor…about something...” Oh god. Not that  _ something _ . 

“...That you guys are together or whatever and going to Leonie’s tomorrow, as an actual couple. I mean it’s cool if you guys are, but...are you? Are you really together?” Jonas asks, boys watching him like they were afraid to ask it themselves.

Matteo’s flabbergasted. How could they so easily believe it? It’s not like...it’s not like this something was mutual, how did they all think they were seeing something? 

He watches David’s head fall back, looking at the ceiling. He knew David was letting him speak...as if he had a choice. He would do whatever David told him. Always. 

“Uh...yeah.” That’s all that comes out of Matteo’s mouth and he can’t believe he fucking says it. Every bone in his body wanted to say no. Not feed into this...thing. 

Jonas cracks a smile after watching the two’s disposition, “Awe, congrats dudes.” Their friends reach an arm out, patting them and sharing congratulations. 

It catches Matteo off guard when he feels David rest his hand on his forearm, on the table. And he doesn’t know why, but he’s mad. Really fucking mad. Mad at himself...and almost mad at David. He doesn’t understand what’s going on. 

And he actually stops breathing when he feels that hand run up his arm towards his hands...to intertwine their fingers. He feels dizzy again and he feels his eyes sting. For some reason, he’s on the verge of tears. He slides his arm away as he mutters that he’s going to the bathroom.

He ignores his friends confused looks and it takes everything in him to not look back to the piercing eyes he felt were staring through his soul. He does not come back to the lunch table.

When school dismisses, his phone buzzes and startles him. It’s from David. 

 

**David** : Alles klar? You left lunch so suddenly today. I’m here if you need to talk...will I still see you at the party tomorrow? I can come over before the boy squad if you do wanna talk and go to the party. 

  
God this kid was making Matteo feel  _ something  _ he’s never felt before.


	2. Wasted

Matteo groans as his eyes open, raw from his sleepless night. Someone’s buzzing at his flatshare door. While rubbing his eyes, he checks his phone for the time and realizes he only has twenty minutes before he had to leave for school.

Who was trying to get into his flatshare on a weekday morning? He wonders if Hans spent the night at Michi’s and forgot his keys.

He hauls his legs around his bed and stands up, stretching his arms out. His eyes feel scratchy. He doesn’t want to wake up. And after the day he had yesterday, he certainly doesn’t feel like facing everyone at school today.

Yet somehow, when he hears David hum through the shitty speaker, he lets him in without hesitation.

“You didn’t text me back last night,” He says, something similar to fear in his eyes, as he stands in the doorway. Matteo doesn’t move at first.

David notices he just woke up. “Uh, sorry…” Matteo says, drowsily. He begins to turn around to get ready.

“I was worried,” David says softly. Matteo does a double take, turning around.

Well fuck it, he couldn’t ignore the _something_ now. Not after David comes to check on him because of a stupid text he didn’t respond to.

“Walk me to school?” Matteo manages to squeeze through his morning cough. He knows his voice sounds groggy and sleepy and he’s almost nervous he sounds like shit.

David lets out a sigh when he nods, a relieved sigh. He walks over and lays out on the couch, pulling his phone out. Matteo goes to his room.

When Matteo’s brushing his hair, he hates how almost nervous he starts to feel about today. He threw on a black shirt, ironic...as David always wears black.

As he stumbles out of the bathroom, he muses over the concentration in David’s eyes as he reads something on his phone. He doesn’t like that he does it, but if David’s really asking him to fake date him, shouldn’t he be doing that?

He’s not entirely sure how far they were going with this whole...fake dating.

David must have felt his eyes on him because he looks up with a warm smile on his face. He holds his phone up to Matteo so he can see some blurred words on the screen.

“Okay so I was trying to make a list of stuff we should do today, as a couple, ya know...and then I didn’t know what our boundaries were so I kinda just wrote one thing down and read it like a thousand times while you took ten years to get ready.”

Matteo chuckles. That bastard always teasing him. He liked being teased though. It felt...good. Like he was somewhat admirable for being a total disaster. But then his shoulders become tense when he realizes...all that concentration was for him? No.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. And what was that one thing?

“I legit wrote convince friends and do whatever comfortable with,” David says, locking eye contact with Matteo. He thinks he forgets how to breathe...again. Great.

 

That... _that wasn’t something._ They had been friends for years. It made sense to do whatever kind of came naturally to them since nothing was really awkward…

 

And before he can catch himself, Matteo’s lost in his big brown eyes again. They were so...he was transfixed.

Wait - did he actually just witness this correctly? David’s cheeks growing pink as he gazed? Were David’s cheeks growing pink?

“Uh, yeah, I mean...that sounds fine?” Matteo says it as a question. He just wants to listen to David’s voice.

David lets out a sigh...and Matteo thinks it’s of relief. Matteo’s utterly confused.

“I mean...what do you feel comfortable with?” A shiver runs up his spine and Matteo prays - for once- that he didn’t notice.

“Uh…” Matteo scratches the back of his neck, “I mean…” Thank god, he forgot his bag in his room. Walking into the other room, he loudly says, “If it has to be believable, whatever. You decide.”

When he walks back in the room, it’s like he sees a completely different person. David’s...fidgety. He’s looking anywhere, but Matteo’s eyes, and is playing with his phone case.

David wasn’t fidgety. _David couldn’t be fidgety. David couldn’t be fidgety._  

He nods, standing up and walks over to the door. Okay, today shouldn’t be a problem. It was fake. Fake was equivalent to...a niche, Matteo had learned in bio. A realized niche. Where, by definition, competition is put into account. Meaning, the difference between a fundamental niche and a realized niche is that one is reality and one is simply not for survival purposes.

Fake. Fake. Fake. Fake. _That’s all it was._ Fake.

 

The two are dead silent on their walk to school. And it’s not comfortable silence, like it usually was. It was thick and apparent. And the silence...it was thick. With tension. Matteo thinks the silence is haunting him from all the years he remained quiet.

Without even looking at David, when they reach school, he can sense the stiffness of his body.

“What is  -” He interrupts himself with more silence. It’s Leonie and Sara.

“-Well, this is it,” David hums quietly before reaching out and intertwining their fingers together. Their hands fit perfectly together. _Perfekt._ Ugh.

Why are David’s hands almost...sweaty? David could lie...but his body couldn’t...right? He was nervous.

 

David wasn’t nervous. _David couldn’t be nervous. David couldn’t be nervous._  

 

He knows the girls are really thrown off by them because they stop, mid-walk, just staring. Matteo looks over to David when he hears him curse under his breath. David’s acting weird. He wasn’t the diffident type...ever.

“Hey,” Leonie says, slowly starting to walk in their direction. “How’s everything going?” He asks. “Good,” They say.

The energy between them had never been awkward. Never. All morning between them, it’s been awkward. Matteo couldn’t even put it into words originally because it was so unlike them.

But, now he knows what word it is. Awkward. They're uncomfortably quiet and almost afraid to speak.

Even when Matteo tried to tell him how he truly-

 

He refuses to go back to square one. He will not think about it. He just knows it wasn’t awkward. Heart shattering better described it, not awkward.

Somewhere inside of him pushes Matteo to untangle their fingers to put arm around him...and as David’s watching Matteo’s fingers wrap around him, he says, “So it starts at -”

He stops talking when Matteo’s hand rests on his side. Actually it feels like his body flinches, too.

David wasn’t dumbstruck. _David couldn’t be dumbstruck. David couldn’t be dumbstruck._  

“-At 21:00 right?” He finishes his sentence and Matteo knows his voice is breathy when he says the last part of his sentence. Deliberate. Like he forced himself to say... _something._

While the girls nod and say they’re excited, Matteo flashes a small smile and he thinks he sees David carefully watching him. Like his full attention was on him, today.

Not that he didn’t always get David’s full, undivided attention, _but this felt like something else._

Before first period starts, David walks into class and Jonas drags Matteo to the corner of a hallway. Matteo reluctantly follows his best friend.

“It’s fake! You guys are fake dating, I knew it!” Jonas nearly shouts and Matteo, wide eyed, looks around. Thank god no one was in the hallway.

“What?” Matteo just asks and then regrets saying it because Jonas is quite the bullshit detector.

“I knew it...it’s for the party right?” Jonas asks, and Matteo nods. “I just haven’t figured out why, yet.”

Matteo scoffs. He’d like to know that too. “How the fuck do you know?”

“Duh, I heard Leonie complaining fifth period and you guys were kind of arguing before lunch. Then the looks, bro. I know my best friend.”

Matteo wrinkles his brows. What was he talking about? “What do you...what looks?”

Jonas thinks for a second before saying, “It’s just crazy, man. The way he looks at you...or at least used to until this. Like he wanted you so bad he was physically in pain, but like didn’t...I don’t know allow himself to have you?”

 

Ah, Matteo knew that feeling. _Wait, that was his feeling,_ not David’s. What the fuck?

 

“What are you talking about?” Matteo asks, not knowing what do with this information.

“I just...knew the way he looks at you couldn’t change so suddenly, like all of a sudden he has you. He had been holding back for so long I didn’t think everything could change so quick...and again at lunch both of you were so...man, I just know you.”

Matteo wishes he didn’t. In fact, he wishes Jonas wouldn’t’ve said that. He wishes he didn’t know that David...that David...no. He couldn’t. _He couldn’t feel that something._ His heart already broke. He didn’t want it to again.

The second bell rings, letting them know they have one minute to get to class. Matteo just looks to Jonas, completely flabbergasted. What about the realized niche? The part where it wasn’t reality.

“I uh, listen, I can like explain it more later...I don’t know if I said that right,” Jonas says, beginning to turn and walk the other way, “But I gotta go or else Mr. Neuhaus will kill me.”

And Matteo has no choice other than dragging his feet into class and right next to David. He sits down stiffly and sits up more than his usual slouch.

It clicks and he doesn’t want it to. Carlos and Abdi were just shocked. Jonas...Jonas wasn’t yesterday. He might have thought it was fake, but he still thought it was believable at first.

Jonas knew he was hopelessly pinning after David, which is why he so casually brought up the rumor and later the feelings. Although Matteo had come out to them a while ago, he had never mentioned David. Never.

Jonas knew he was hopelessly pinning after David except he thought David was too?

“Alles klar?” He hears David ask.

He doesn’t feel the need to answer. He really doesn’t. He knows he looks horrified and he knows David can tell. After all, David could decipher every single thing he fucking did, so…he just swallows.

By lunch, Matteo is talking regularly to David again. He just needed some time in biology to recover from...well obviously a misconception on Jonas’ part because David didn’t like him like that.

And as the two approach the lunch table, their friends tap the table like a drumroll. “Who’s ready for the party tonight?” Carlos asks with a grin on his face.

Then Matteo thinks about the party and it’s starting to dawn on him how close it is and really how close everything is to...making their fake dating believable and he goes silent again. He knows David’s watching him with concern all lunch.

 

~

 

 

Matteo hates how much consideration he’s putting into tonight. He’s in the bathroom running a brush and then a hand through his hair. He’s trying to make it dry faster although it’s almost pretty much already dry from his shower.

His stomach flips when he changes into another black shirt. It’s not just a regular trashy black shirt, it’s David’s. One time when David had spent the night, he was chilly and threw on one of Matteo’s sweatshirts.

Matteo tried on multiple occasions to give it back to him, but for some odd reason David never remembered in the end.

As he pulls the shirt over his head, he feels like he might drown in David’s scent. He’s covered in David’s scent. David. David. David. God, _something’s not right_. And as he adjusts the shirt, he looks at himself in the mirror. He feels insanely nervous, yet comforted.

He’s sure that he’s brushed his teeth nearly three times because the mint in his mouth is so apparent he feels like he’s at the dentist. He had been distracted thinking about the endless possibilities and felt like he had always missed a spot. Well, he certainly hadn’t by now.  

It’s 19:45 when he’s pulled out of his self-consciousness as the buzzer goes off. He walks over and opens the door, waiting for David.

“I’ll be home...I don’t know it depends on what -” He’s saying to his phone, Matteo pressumes is Laura. But, he can’t verify because David stops speaking and walking up the stairs when his eyes lock with his.

And the way David’s looking at him, it makes his breath catch in the back of his throat. Somehow Matteo squeezes a soft smile on his face and David clears his throat.

“-What happens. Probably by 00:00 or 01:00. I...I’ll call you later, Laura.” He hangs up his phone.

As David comes into full view and it makes Matteo’s breath catches in the back of his throat, easily again. It’s so unlike him to wear white, but he is. He has on a white shirt and black jeans.  Did he dress up? God, the way he had his hair pushed back without covering it up with a beanie.

David looks stunning and Matteo sees stars. He’s wondering if he’s lost his mind because he thinks he’s seeing colors.

The two take in each other for a moment, drinking it all in. “Hi,” One of them says. Neither remember who because they weren’t really thinking straight.

Everything is fading while they bike. Matteo’s mind races and he feels so out of breath trying to keep up with David that he’s really only able to think about getting to Leonie’s in one piece.

Matteo’s not drinking. Matteo knows he shouldn’t drink because it’d be different if it was just for fun. The urge he was feeling was to drink so much everything would be obscured. A blur so he wouldn’t have to worry until he got a pounding headache the next morning.

And as the door opens to Leonie’s flat, Matteo looks at David. He tells himself the death sentence David gave him.

_I legit wrote convince friends and do whatever comfortable with...what do you feel comfortable with..._

Everything was on the table and up for grabs. _Everything._

David looks to him frantically before resting his head on Matteo’s shoulder and smiling when Leonie walks into the doorframe. And before he moves his head back straight to greet her, Matteo thinks he leaves his head there for...just a second longer than normal.

And all night _, oh god_.

 

 _All night_ , David won’t stop. David won’t stop tempting him. Matteo’s doing everything in his power to try and tell himself it’s fake _, but there’s something in the air around them that’s unsettling and amazing at the same time._

It’s not fair. Tonight isn’t fair. Nothing about tonight is fair. _God, it’s almost unforgivable._

 

The way David looks at him tonight, with his dark eyes radiating that fierce, uncompromising intelligence.

They way David touches him tonight, leaving Matteo’s stomach to do somersaults with his soft hands brushing against his shoulder, hand, and arms

The way David speaks to him tonight, voice so soft and tender as if his tone is reserved for him and him only.

The way David moves around him, his body so dangerously close to his with every movement he makes while dancing.

The way David whispers to him, saying you _looks good in my shirt_ after Matteo explains the process of downloading Zelda to his laptop.  

 

It’s certainly not fair. Especially the last one. Matteo feels like his heart is in his throat, throbbing. And he would be mad, but it’s impossible for him to do so.

 

And as the best friend David could ever have, Matteo becomes the best actor he could tonight. Despite his internal screaming, he would just smile at David. _Smile like he was his boyfriend. Smile like he was catching his boyfriend notice him._

And it’s a shame Matteo doesn’t feel as good as he looks because he looks so fucking good being cocky. Like he wasn’t going to retreat. Like he wasn’t embarrassed or wanting to hide. Like _he wants_ to be there in the moment and _he wants_  his boyfriend’s attention.

 

_But it was fake._

 

As the two leave the party at 02:00, without even realizing it, Matteo’s walking David home and he can’t seem to keep his eyes off David.

Matteo’s drawn out of his thoughts. “All night you’ve been looking at me weird.”

“I’ve just been looking at you,” He truthfully says.

He sees David blush. He stutters, “Can I...say something?”

 _Of fucking course._ “Yes.”

“I like it when you do that...look at me like that.”

He thinks his heart might explode as he drags his eyes back up to David’s, dazed at every feature. David goes back to his flat and Matteo does the same, falling back on his bed with a stupid smirk on his face that he can't wipe off his face.


	3. Mixed Emotions

Matteo wakes up in a relatively good mood the next day. He sees a notification from David from after he fell asleep.

 

03:37

 **David** : I enjoyed the party, hope you did too. I’ll see you...tomorrow? Are the guys coming over to your house? Anyways, I just wanted to say goodnight, but you’re probably already sleeping.

 

He’s half awake, yet his heart’s already racing. He enjoyed the party. Is he talking about the same party?

 

The one where _David was staring, touching, speaking, moving, and whispering with him?_

 

Matteo groans, _this isn’t fair._ A late night text? Not fair.

 

08:43

 **Matteo** : I did too. Ja, around 16:00. If you want, you could come early and we could chill.

 

He knows he’s invited David over to his flatshare countless times, but he also knows this invite feels different. It offers alone time.

He doesn’t actually think that’s a good idea for him right now, but what the hell was he supposed to do with David texting him like that?

He isn’t responding to the good night and he knows he’s contradicting himself by still inviting him over, but he genuinely doesn’t want to give himself that much hope. He’s seen it similar to this before.

The hope. The buildup. The let-down was -

No. He is not going back to that. He needs to figure out how to stop everything before it gets out of hand and leads him back to exactly where he was three years ago. It’s done. David wanted it to be that way.

And as much as it hurt, he would do anything for David. Anything.

If he’s figured out how to control and stop himself before, why is he struggling to do it again? Well, he realizes it’s because David wasn’t so carelessly leading him on. He stopped. _He isn’t stopping now._

Matteo’s head is spinning. He doesn’t like processing all of this information because it still doesn’t make any sense to him. What’s changing? What’s making David do this? What kind of scam is this?

~

Matteo’s opening his front door before David knocks to let him know he’s there. He _needs_ to see David. He _needs_ to prove to himself that there’s nothing going on between them. _Nothing._

But, David’s eyes sparkle with innocence as he bats his eyes and asks, “Hey, na?”

He manages to spit out a “Uh, klar.”

David’s able to sense that something’s up as Matteo stiffly goes to sit on his couch, sitting so he’s facing David. “What’s wrong?” He prys. At least, Matteo thinks he’s prying.

He looks anywhere, but at David when he looks in his direction. He finds that he actually is at a loss for words. He feels hurt again. He feels small again. He feels rejected again. He feels the same he did years ago. Because David knows him and he can't lie.

“Matteo, what is it?” David asks again.

“Why?” He breathlessly asks. Jesus Christ, he didn’t mean to say it. He didn’t even plan on it.

He knows exactly what Matteo’s asking. “Why what?” David asks back and it’s almost inaudible.

When we’re not fake dating...

 

 _Why won’t you look at me_ anymore?

 _Why won’t you just feel free_ around me?

 _Why won’t you love me_ like I love you?

 _Why won’t you let yourself_ to imagine?

Am I that bad? Am I that unloveable?

 

 _No._ David wants to shout from the top of his lungs.

He was asking for _the raw truth_...and that’s what David wanted...right?

Matteo thinks he sees David’s heart shatter because he knows every part of the question. It makes his heart shatter more than it already has.

Matteo’s lips purse as he watches David struggle to formulate words. And before he can even reply with anything at all, the guys are buzzing in to Matteo’s flatshare. Jonas walks in and he hugs the two, clearly still excited by the fake dating thing.

All of his friends stretch out on his couch and floor, leaving David and Matteo to sit on the recliner together. _Together._ Since they are fake dating, still.

Matteo hates how his heart thuds every time David shuffles in the chair, reminding him that _their hips and thighs and legs are pressed against each other._

~

“Te? Teo?” Matteo doesn’t answer. David knows he’s awake and regardless if he acknowledges that, David knows him. Just like always, Matteo is shuffling around at night time, only David is right next to him on the recliner and can feel his every discomforted move.

Plus, David thinks, if he’s not responding, it would be better to tell him while he’s half asleep.

Jonas peaks an eye opened. He isn’t ashamed that he’s a nosy friend. David’s drawing meaningless shapes into Matteo’s hair. But, Jonas is super tired and he thinks the nicknames are enough. He falls back asleep.

Matteo hears David let out a shaky breath before starting. “I’m sorry I hurt you...not just with this. For the past three years...I thought it would be easier if you thought I didn’t like you instead of knowing how I just wasn’t ready. Do you...I know you know how horrifying it is to fall in love with your best friend. To feel something so quick like that?”

_Feel something. He felt something._

 

His words are drawn out when he speaks. It’s deliberate. He’s trying. “I know you know because I watched you fall in love with me...I didn’t think I deserved you and I didn’t want to hurt you, but I broke you instead. I just...want you to know it hurt me too...to feel like I shouldn’t feel this something screaming inside me.”

_Shouldn’t feel something. He shouldn’t feel that something._

 

He lets out a soft chuckle. The memories. “I’m sorry I left the first night we chilled. I was scared because it was only our third day knowing each other and I could already tell...everything. I knew we’d be best friends. And at the time I...thought me feeling something for you was wrong.”

 

_Feeling something is wrong. He knows that something he feels is wrong._

He thumb feels so soft as he runs it through Matteo’s hair. “I know how much I hurt you, I watched you make yourself small. As selfish as it was, I actually got scared you didn’t like me anymore because I couldn’t ignore it...the something.”

 

Couldn’t ignore something. _He couldn’t ignore that something._

Matteo lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He tries to think about anything, but that _something._ Ironically, his mind only drifts to the order these events took place.

_He felt something_

_He shared that something_

_He shouldn’t feel that something_

_He knows that something he feels is wrong_

_He couldn’t ignore that something_

 

It's circling. It's all circling and when Matteo turns around he knows he’s making a mistake. David’s face is inches before him and his eyes are filled with nothing, but sincerity for him. Matteo feels like there’s a lack of oxygen in his lungs.

He doesn’t know what to say. Fuck. He doesn’t know what to say. David’s eyes drop to his lips. Fuck. He doesn’t know what to say. “It’s okay...you don’t have to say anything.”

He doesn't even know what to do. Fuck. He doesn’t know what to do. David’s head is moving closer and he’s nuzzling himself  against Matteo’s chest. Fuck. He doesn’t know what to do.

“You don’t have to look at me like that. I told you it’s okay.”

Matteo’s eyes are downcast...not closed. He’s studying what feels like every single one of David’s strands of hair. He tries his best to close his eyes and fall asleep, but his dreams are less comforting than reality.

And he cannot stop thinking about how David was curled up on him. His face on his chest and his legs tangled with his own. He’s sure David is awake. He knows David. He’s also sure David can hear his racing heart beat.

At some point in the night, David asks him what he always dreams about and he answers, "My parents." He wants to fall asleep. 


	4. Same Page

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's comfortable now. It's secure. It's okay. They're okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, well, well...if it isn't time for Davenzi to be together, I don't know what time it is!

Before Matteo decides that he will pretend to wake up, David is on his phone...googling. 

He goes to google everything he can conclude about dreams from parents who failed as guardian figures and as he types it, he already knows. He doesn’t need to hit the enter button because he and Matteo both know.

Abandonment issues. Everyone had left him. And anyone who had stayed...disappointed him.

David couldn’t help, but feel as if he’s disappointed Matteo. And although Matteo is hurt, he’s never been disappointed in David. Even if it wasn’t in the exact way Matteo imagined, David was always there for him.

Matteo yawns as he stretches his arms out and looks to David, who’s curled up close to him. “What are you looking up?” HIs voice is deeper and more gruff than usual. He hasn’t spoken in hours.

David shuts his phone off and brings his head up so he’s level to Matteo. They’re less than a foot away, just like last night. _ Except, Matteo has a glint of something in his eyes. _

Something else. Reassurance. 

“Just dreams,” David responds and Matteo looks concerned for him. 

He quirks a brow, “Why? You don’t have to worry about me.” 

“Matteo…” David pleads. “How many hours of sleep do you get on a good night?”

When Matteo doesn’t respond, he states, “You are exhausted.”

“You know Jonas, Carlos, Abdi, Hanna...Amira, Kiki...and me, we’re all here for you? Always. We aren’t going to leave your side. Ever.”

Matteo swallows. David looks so caring, his head resting in front of him. He’s only focused on him. “I know.”

“Then what’s keeping you up?” 

In a voice barely above a whisper, Matteo answers truthfully, “I just get anxious...when my mom’s mental health went to shit I...started getting these lucid nightmares. It’s stupid, I know they’re just dreams -”

“-Matteo, nothing about you is stupid.” He blushes. It’s actually rare that he gets anything this close to a compliment. 

“It’s traumatic. It’s disappointing. It’s scary. It’s sad. I completely understand...just worried that you don’t get enough rest. I - I understand.” When David says this, his eyes are gazing and his lips and everything feels different. 

Matteo licks his lips and it feels so different knowing David’s watching this. “When I first moved here I had them too. The lucid nightmares with my parents. It was reoccurring. I was in a doctor’s office and my dad was yelling about my...problem. He would storm off and my mom would start crying. It was...anyways, I get it. The dreams.”

“Dav-”

“- My point is that it was scary and I don’t want you to be alone or think you are.” David’s still looking at his lips. “I’m here.”

Matteo blinks, his eyes are scratchy. “I...wait…” A smirk slowly grows on his face. “Did you call me Te and Teo last night?”

David’s head drops. Another shade of blush covers his cheeks. He’s smiling fondly and Matteo can tell even though he can’t see it. “I - if you didn’t like -”

“-No. I like it.” Matteo’s biting down a smile right now. 

David lifts his head back, “Yeah?” Matteo sheepishly nods. 

“Awwe!” The two look over to the kitchen area, where a pleased Hans is. “My lovebirds and jungs, wake up! I made breakfast.”

Matteo doesn’t move from the recliner. David’s so close. David. He feels the same something. He gets it. David’s face is so close. David. He’s here. David’s gazing at him. David.

He lets out a small, almost inaudible sound when David goes to sit up and David seems to pick up on it because he blinks a couple more times than he usually would. Matteo feels cold air replace David’s legs when he untangles them and David hops off the recliner, not even waiting for Matteo to pull the chair back down.   
  


~

 

It’s Monday morning and Matteo doesn’t want to go to school. He doesn’t want to pretend to be with David anymore.  _ He wants to be with David. He wants to be with David for real. _   
And he’s half asleep when he opens his texts, but by the time he’s read his recent message he is awake. Really awake. 

 

06:14

**David** : Buongiorno Luigi. I miss you. Can I walk you to school?

 

He takes seconds to formulate a response. 

 

06:15

**Matteo** : Yes.

 

He has as stupid smirk on his sleepy face as he goes to buzz in David, knowing he is most likely already at his flatshare. 

“Na?”

“Na.” It’s a simple exchange of word before David breathes in and goes to embrace Matteo.

It feels...good. He likes this. He likes being able to touch David so freely without having to worry about him pulling away. He’s not used to it, but he thinks he can get used to it.

He securely places his head in the crook of David’s neck. “You miss me even though you saw me less than twelve hours ago?” Matteo teases with his words spinning around David’s neck. He listens to David’s beautiful giggle vibrate right against his ear.

He thinks he could get drunk on David’s giggle alone. Or high. Either really.

Matteo isn’t used to being so honest with his feelings. Not even to himself until recently. He pushed them down for years. So it catches him and David by off guard when he pulls away from the embrace and looks David in the eyes, saying, “I missed you, too.”

David’s lips are pursed and there’s this pure, gentle smile on his face. “Yah?” Matteo nods. 

“I uh...need to get ready still, if you wanna wait here or…” He gestures for David to follow him and of course, David follows him. 

Thank god he threw on a shirt before welcoming David in because he doesn’t think he’d be able to handle that. Matteo looks in the bathroom mirror while flipping the cap of the toothpaste. 

He’s leaning against the wall, scrolling through his phone. He’s concentrated. He’s thinking about something Matteo knows he’ll probably bring up at some point.  He must be able to sense Matteo’s gaze on him as his attention seems to move to the mirror where he can clearly see Matteo staring. Oops.

They both don’t say anything. After a couple seconds of silence, Matteo just grabs his toothbrush begins to brush. David blurts out, “Leonie likes Sara.” 

Matteo doesn’t like the situation he’s being put into. “What?” He manages to ask, trying his best not to spit out his toothpaste from the amount of shock he’s in. Leonie likes David?

“She told me three months ago in gym class before Sara got to class.” He’s not breaking eye contact with Matteo. 

Matteo continues to brush his teeth, he’s confused. When he goes to spit out the toothpaste and look back into the mirror, David’s biting on the inside of his lip.

“Her being into me is just...pretend so Sara doesn’t find out she likes her. Leonie and I are close.” Matteo is dumbstruck. He doesn’t believe this. He cannot believe this. _ Oh god he cannot believe this. _

“And I wouldn’t’ve done it, but I knew Sara liked you.” 

Matteo’s lips are pursed and he’s trying to not let his jaw drop. He turns around to face David. He is in complete and utter disbelief. He lets out a laugh.

And holy fuck David’s nervous. He’s fidgeting with his hands and he’s not breathing normally and he’s not blinking...he’s looking at him. Doe-eyed. 

He doesn’t know how he manages to pull words out of himself, but he does. “I didn’t know you were such a prevaricator.” Matteo feels speechless.

David tilts his head. Oh god. Matteo always gets nervous when he does that. “Holy shit, David. I didn’t know you were such a...holy shit, David.” David’s blushing at him. Big time. Even his nose is starting to grow a faint shade of pink.

That’s the most Matteo’s able to say before he finishes getting ready and grabs his school bag. 

They walk down one of the streets, to school, and it’s still kind of dark outside considering winter is just behind them. It’s dark enough that the street lights are still on. Matteo is still in shock and shaking his head.

“Wow...should I be angry at you?” Matteo jokes, he’s still thunderstruck.

“Oh come on, you love me!” David argues.

Matteo’s face falls flat and he stops mid-walk. He thinks he’s turning paler. His smile has dissipated into apprehension. After hesitation, in a voice barely barely above a mumble, he replies, “I do…”

“What?” David’s toothy grin looks like it’s about to fade. Matteo curses under his breath. David stops walking too. David’s cheeks don’t get any less red, though, he notes.

Feeling a lot more butterflies than anticipated, Matteo turns around and walks around for a second before turning to David. Is it possible to simultaneously want nothing more than to want to look at and hide from David at the same time?

“I’m not saying it again,” He chuckles, his face is getting hot. Really hot. 

He turns around back to David. “What did you say?” 

“I love you,” He repeats. Matteo licks his lips and there’s a small, crooked smile on his face. He drags his eyes back to David. 

He’s speechless. He’s staring at Matteo in disbelief which is...David knows he’s in love with him. Why is this surprising him if David’s known _ he’s felt something the entire time? _

Matteo doesn’t make the first move. He doesn’t want to do that right now, anyways. He wants David to do something. David. David has to do something. He wants David to explicitly prove it to him. That he feels something too. 

And suddenly Matteo’s neck is being wrapped around by David’s arms and he’s being held. David’s holding him. And David’s kissing him. 

 

_ David’s kissing him. David’s kissing him. David’s kissing him because he feels something too. _

 

His lips are soft and pink and David’s taste is delicious. And it feels so sweet when David’s hands brush down his shoulders to his cheeks to cup his face. Matteo’s holding David, one hand on his waist and one on his neck because he cannot believe this is real and happening. 

 

This all feels surreal...because  _ David Schreibner, _ his best friend of three years who he was convinced didn’t love him back, _ is kissing him. _

 

A peaceful sigh escapes Matteo lips when their lips part ways and they rest their foreheads on each other’s. David’s fingers trail down his jaw and he whispers, “I love you too,” and Matteo thinks this is as good as life can get.

Matteo buries himself in David’s shoulder as they hug each other again. When they pull back, both have grins on their faces. David's signature toothy grin he'd give Matteo when he did something to really impress him. “My prevaricator of a friend is very lucky I love him or else he’d be out of luck.”

David hums while rolling his eyes. He grabs Matteo’s hand, while interlacing their fingers, dragging him to keep on walking to school. “You orchestrated this all!” Matteo’s starts to laugh and so does David. 

“And you don’t seem mad in the slightest,” David turns back to look at him when he finally catches a breath and their laughter dies down.

“How could I be?” Matteo breathlessly asks. He’s breathless because of their laughing, kissing, and everything in between. “We’re together now.” He raises their hands and kisses the back of David’s and it makes him super bashful. 

Matteo likes knowing David feels something. He likes knowing that he can stupidly flirt with David and regardless of how bad it is, David will turn red because he is, in fact, undeniably flattered. He likes that he knows David gets giddy too and that _they share something together._  It's comfortable now. It's secure. It's okay. They're okay. 

Ironically, his mind drifts to the order these events took place.

 

_ He felt something _

_ He shared that something _

_ He shouldn’t feel that something _

_ He knows that something he feels is wrong _

_ He couldn’t ignore that something _

 

No. It doesn't end like that, though. Not anymore

 

_ He shares that something, still _

_ He can feel that something _

_ He knows the something he feels is love _

_ He shouldn’t ignore the something...because _

 

_ They love each other and share the something special together. _

 

And when  Matteo falls asleep with David's arms wrapped around him tonight, he sleeps for nearly 16 hours. And it's not like when he was depressed and slept for days, wanting to forget about the world. It's something else. He feels more love than he ever has in the entirety of his life and he's just so enamored that he feels like he can finally sleep right. He knows David will be there and although he always has, _ it feels like something out of this world today. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, if you enjoyed please comment below because I care too much about comments! If you have suggestions for future au's please leave a comment below because I would love to write many more stories about these two. I hope you guys liked this :)) Thanks for reading <3 It's been a fun journey writing this one.

**Author's Note:**

> Yay, I love me some davenzi content haha.


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